A Second Look at Love (Because Coffee Has to Be Drunk Anyway)

Let’s be honest: dating apps are like fast food menus. We scroll through, pick something based on a photo, and hope it doesn’t disappoint. But unlike fries, people have depth. And sometimes, the good ones aren’t dressed in their best light. Literally. Sometimes it’s bad lighting. Or a blurry selfie. Or just a weird angle that makes you think, nah.

But here’s the thing: when you’re looking for your second chance at love, it pays to give someone a second look.

We All Want the Fantasy…

That magical moment: your eyes lock across a digital profile, you both swipe right, sparks fly, and the next thing you know you’re sipping wine in Tuscany or at least splitting fries at Shake Shack.

But let’s tell the truth here. The real timeline is usually:

• Swipe
• Wait
• Maybe match
• Message
• Wait
• Wonder if they died or just ghosted
• Shrug
• Repeat

Finding love—real love, grown-up love—often takes time. And patience. And a second click on someone you may have passed over too fast.

The Good Ones Sometimes Hide Behind Weird Bios and Meh Photos

Someone’s blurry hiking photo isn’t necessarily a red flag. Maybe they were busy living life instead of curating their profile. Ask yourself:

• Could I drink a coffee with this person?
• Could I have a conversation that doesn’t make me want to throw my phone into the ocean?

If yes, maybe give them thirty minutes. You were going to drink the coffee anyway.

Should You Message Again?

Yes. Yes you should.

Maybe they missed your first message. Maybe the app glitched. Maybe they were going through something. Maybe their cat walked on their phone and accidentally deleted all their “likes.”

You don’t know. And you don’t need to know. A friendly follow-up never hurt anyone.

That “Weird” First Message?

So what if they gave you a weird answer to your question about travel? Maybe they were nervous. Maybe they misread what you wrote. This isn’t email. There’s no tone, no context. Assume good intent, and if you’re curious, ask again.

My Own Second Look

I almost didn’t meet my now-fiancé. He was cautious. Tired of disappointing dates. A little burned out. He wanted every stage of the process—photos, texts, vibe—to be a perfect 10. (Spoiler: life doesn’t work that way.)

But I had a feeling. Something about him seemed worth the nudge. I followed up. Gently. A couple of times. Eventually, we met for a glass of wine.

He looked at me and said: “Wow. You’re beautiful.”

Turns out, my photos didn’t do me justice. He just needed to see me in real life—and be in the right headspace to recognize the spark.

TL;DR: Give People a Second Look

You’re not ordering a toaster. You’re looking for a partner. Be curious. Be generous. Be open to magic that takes a minute.

After all, love doesn’t always show up in high-resolution.

‍